I like these boots. Big black Army combats, steel-toed. They make me about an inch taller. I've been wearing them for more than a month now, so they're broken in and not giving me blisters anymore. The only boots I have left that were issued to me by the Army. The only footwear I possess right now, actually. They're insulated for winter wear, too. They are great boots. But...
They will not shut up!
Every other step, the right one squeaks. No matter how I plant my foot, they issue a loud half-farting sound. And they fuck with me. Sometimes the left boot joins in. Sometimes the right one stops, just long enough for me to think, 'Hey, maybe they finally...', SQUEAK! Damn you, boots! Every time I walk into the local college library to check my e-mail, the squeak cranks up the volume so that people with headphones are looking around, trying to see who's cutting the cheese with such metronome-like regularity. Cute college chicks give me The Look. It's all I can do sometimes to keep myself from looking down and screaming, 'SHUT UP, DAMN YOU! SHUT! UP!'
I'm telling you, these boots are lucky I don't have any choice about wearing them.
No comments:
Post a Comment