You should learn something new every day!

So, military school was not a lot of fun, but I did learn a couple of things there. For instance, if you get into a fight with an upperclassman, all you really have to do to win is not get your ass kicked. If the upperclassman doesn't beat you like a red-headed stepchild, he automatically looks like a pussy. There are times that living in a place with the general mentality of a pack of monkeys can be turned to your advantage.

During the Annual Federal Inspection that took place at the end of my last year their, I learned a new word.

I, and the guys in my section, had been waiting for most of the day for the inspectors to get to us, sitting around in full-dress uniform trying not to get wrinkled. We were one of the last sections inspected, but we finally got called to stand at attention outside the doors of our rooms, and the inspectors, who must have been pretty bored themselves, were making pretty quick work of us.

The Colonel who was leading the inspectors got to my room, and my roommate and I followed him in and stood at attention by our lockers. The Colonel glanced around our room, as exactly like the hundred other rooms at the school as we could make it, in a cursory fashion, looked briefly in our lockers, and was set to roll out when something caught his eye. His brow furrowed a little as he looked closer at the gap between my locker and a wall.

"Is that your nickel there?” the Colonel asked me.

"No, sir!" I continued without thinking, "You can have it if you want it!"

The Colonel looked at me closer, his eyes showing surprise. Behind him, I could see Colonel Horton, the head of the school, close his eyes and sigh silently.

"Son," The inspecting Colonel said, not unkindly, "Try not to be facetious, all right?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Do you know what 'don't be facetious' means?"

"No, sir!"

"It means don't be a wiseass."

"Yes, sir! I'll remember, sir!"

"Carry on." And the Colonel led everyone back out of the room.

See what I mean? Everyday, new things come up.