Monday, February 18, 2008

I'm sure this would make money.

Are you an old freak? A senior citizen who's into water sports, coprophilia, S+M, B+D, A+P? Do the other old people at church not understand your love of latex? Are they confused by your references the works of de Sade and Sacher-Masoch? Look aghast at your vast number of lovingly collected 'toys' and antique porn?

Then come to KinkyWrinkle.com! Where you're never too old to get your freak on! The place to meet oldsters just like you! The kind who could teach these kids today something about the proper use of a bullwhip and correct orgy etiquette! The kind who says a hard slap is the same as a loving caress! The kind who really want to punch the midget! The kinds who like their sex just the way you do: deviant!

Velma G., 81, of Teluca Lake says: "I met a hot slab of manhood the first time I went on! The moment he saw my burlap teddy, he could barely control himself. He all but dragged me into the coatroom of the bingo hall, took off my panties, unrolled my labia, blew the dust off of my clitoris, and went to town. 'Course, I broke a hip, but it was worth it!"

Vern H., 78, of Hybiscus adds: "All kinds of sweet honeys have flocked to me since they found out I can't get them pregnant, and they call me 'the Sandblaster'. That's because, when I come, only sand comes out! And they love it, yes, they do..."

If you're a MILF, a FILF, an AILF, an UILF, a GMILF, or a GFILF, KinkyWrinkle.com is the place for you! So unlock your 'Secret Drawer', blow the dust off of your rubber Gimp suit and strap-on, get online, and get off! Go for the gusto! Find the weird turn-on you were always too shy to ask your long-dead partner for! C'mon, you're gonna die soon! Get the lead out, you white-haired sack of raging hormones!

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