Me and my Moobs

ABC recently announced that they will be starting to film a new round of their venerable 'After-School Special' series, and I'm getting ready by prepping a script I've been working on for the last few years. It's called 'Me and my Moobs'.

The story follows a young man named Clarence, unpopular at school because he's overweight. One day, after being taunted by the 'cool' kids, he hears two voices telling him to cheer up. To his surprise, Clarence finds that his man-boobs, or 'moobs' as the kids to day call them, have begun speaking to him! Calling themselves 'Lefty', and 'Righty', the vociferous and amusing moobs lead Clarence on a journey of self-discovery and burgeoning self-confidence, showing him that even the 'cool' kids aren't sure of themselves. The moobs help Clarence by prompting him in tough situations, using voices only he can hear.

There are times when Clarence fears for his sanity.

The wackiness culminates at the school dance, which Clarence is attending with Thelma, the prettiest girl at school. But Clarence suddenly discovers that he's on his own, as his increased confidence has kept him from overeating, meaning that 'Righty' and 'Lefty' have become too small to be helpful. Clarence manages to make it through, and ends up telling Thelma about how him moobs had helped him over the last few weeks, and how he'd been scared without them, but now knew he could make it on his own. Thelma is proud of Clarence, but tells him that, secretly, she'd always thought he was cute as a big guy.

This leads Clarence to ask, "Wanna go get some cheesecake?", after which he and Thelma head to a diner while the credits roll.

God, I can almost taste the Emmy!