Accentuate the positive...

It's all about how you spin it. I'm not overweight, I'm a caloric over-achiever!

The Horror...

The forces of the Clown Kingdom are some of the most feared in the universe, and the terror of their attacks is almost unrivaled. The sonic attack always heralds the arrival of their tent-ships; The blasting of a discordant calliope in a pitch that cannot be ignored, and which often induces collapse in buildings and seizures in men. Sometimes entire cities are decimated by rains of explosive confetti, or sliced apart by falls of monomolecular ‘cotton candy’. Clown soldiers sometimes rain down, floating on anti-gravity floppy shoes and ill fitting, baggy protective armor, melting their opponents with blasts of hydrochloric seltzer, unleashing hordes of cannibalistic balloon animals, smashing creme pies impregnated with slaver nano-viruses in the faces of their targets, firing gasses that cause hallucinations and madness from flowers mounted on their lapels. And when the entire world has been ’converted to happiness’, the survivors are herded into the tent-ships, and only exit as corpses or new soldiers of the Clown Emperor. Fear their coming, and run as fast and as far as you can.